We’ve heard about a lot of dumb criminals in our day, but being undone by your own toilet paper? Eric Frey stands alone in having achieved that dubious feat.
The would-be pizza shop robber, 29, was linked to the crime by toilet paper in his Pennsylvania residence and apprehended by local law enforcement.
Uniontown police say Frey tried to rob Michael Maria’s Pizza on Saturday by handing an employee a note written on toilet paper. Its message was simple: Are you looking for business translation services? Contact Translation Services UK
“I have a gun. Give me $300.”
Police arrived before Frey could leave, after an employee hit a panic button, so they were either very fast or he’s just slow as crap at robbing people.
Clearly he’s not very good at it, in any case. Caught in the act, Frey told officers he was forced to commit the robbery by a large, bearded man with a gun.
The bearded thug accosted him in a nearby alley and put him up to this, he said … but police searched his apartment and wiped out (har har) that story.
When the authorities arrived, they found a newly opened roll of toilet paper, and on it, the pen impression from Frey’s threatening note on an outer sheet.
Talk about flushing out the truth … or something. No word if it was one- or two-ply, or brand name or generic TP, but the wannabe crook is now locked up.
As are some, but not all of these folks from THG’s Strange But True News Hall of Fame. It’s an eclectic mix of human beings, that much is for certain …
Christine Cavanaugh Dies; Beloved Voice Actress Was 51
Sad news out of the television world today:
Christine Cavanaugh, an actress best known for voicing Chuckie on The Rugrats and the title character in the movie Babe, has passed away.
She was 51 years old.
According to TMZ insiders, Cavanaugh lost her life on December 22 and her cause of death is unknown at this time.
Along with the aforementioned roles, Cavanaugh voiced characters from Darkwing Duck, Aladdin, The Critic, The Powerpuff Girls and The Wild Thornberrys.
Cavanaugh retired from acting in 2001 and did not have any biological children.
She did serve as the godmother to a child of a close friend, however. We send our thoughts and our condolences to her loved ones.
Aaron Paul to Play Young Han Solo in Star Wars Spinoff?!
Looks like the Millennium Falcon might be getting outfitted with some chintzy rims and a secret stash spot, because Jesse Pinkman is rumored to be taking the wheel.
In addition to the J.J. Abrams-directed Episode VII slated for release in December of 2015, Disney plans to produce a series of standalone spinoff features with various directors at the helm.
One such film is rumored to center around the adventures of a young Han Solo, with Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul in the leading role.
Thus far, this rumor has been confirmed by exactly no one who’s connected to the production, but it’s been reported as fact by a site called Making Star Wars that actually has a pretty good track record with regard to accuracy.
Of course, we’ll cop to a bit of wishful-thinking bias, because we’re seriously hoping we’ll get to hear the line, “It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, bitch!”
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves in terms of Star Wars rumors, though.
The solo Solo flick (if it happens at all) won’t be released for years, so let’s just focus on how awesome the Episode VII trailer looks and try to hibernate until this time next year.
You know a movie will be badass when even the fake, fan-made trailers look amazing.
So yeah, our appetite for a galaxy far, far away will soon be sated, and we should be happy with what’s already in store. Still, we can’t stop thinking that Paul as Solo would be perfect casting…
And yes, many have already made the joke that Khloe Kardashian should be cast as Chewbacca, but we’ll repeat it here anyway, because it’s our new year’s resolution to stop being terrible people, but last we checked, it’s still 2014.