It started on a Spring day in sbo , MO. Mauve walls, afternoon sun filtered through tan mini-blinds. Hialeagh Avenue had few cars and fewer peeping toms. A little, old dog sat in the living room.

Somehow, I’d just convinced a girl who bore a passing remeblance to Helena Bonham Carter to treat me to an afternoon romp in the sack…my first romp in the sack.

When it was over, I eventually made my way to the bathroom to secretly smile at finally having crossed the barrier from heavy-petting to the great beyond.

Knowing I would someday sit and write up the experience in a poker blog, I checked my mental datebook to recrod the experience.

Yep. I lost my virginity on April Fool’s Day.

When you have a life-joke like that played on you, you don’t need a punchline.

Running good

It strikes me as I rejoin this post at 2am on April 2 that my wife (currently sleeping under a blanket on the couch next to me) would disapprove of this sub-head.

“It’s ‘running well’,” she would say if she were awake.

On TV, MSNBC is in Pope Watch. The dog is the only one watching. I already know the story. Pope dies, a dude smacks the corpse in the head three times with a silver hammer, the Cardinals all gather, and then a group called the Illuminati start kidnapping probable Popes and planting antimatter bombs in the Vatican. I won’t give the rest of the story away, but keep your eye on the camerlengo.

It’s funny I start here, because I’m just at the end of running bad. Fortunately, the concept of running good is still swimming in my head.

Running good started a couple of weeks ago when an online pro friend of mine offered me a rakeback deal and nice bonus through a Party skin. I don’t believe online sites can flip a switch to make me run well, but if it were possible, it happened. I swam back into the $5/$10 PL games and swam out with the biggest winning month of my life In fact, I’ve won more in the past month than I’ve won in any year since I started playing.

With a nicely padded bankroll, I decided to start practicing for this summer. I intend to play in the first event of the WSOP on June 3 when I’m in Vegas for the WPBT Aladdin Classic. I suspect the field will be at least 1000 strong. Given that the tournament will have to be down to nine players by the end of the day, the blind structure will have to be beyond aggressive. I suspect it will be equivalent to online multi-table tournaments. With that in mind, I’ve decided to try to play at least one big online MTT with a buy-in of $150 or more per week until June.

Last week, I survived into the money in Party’s $150 Super Thursday tournament, but barely. This week I did a little better. Actually a lot better. In a field of 852 players, I made it to seventh place before finally having to push-in with 77. I was dominated by a pair of nines that flopped a set. While I had a nice finish, I wasn’t satisfied with my play. I need to work on my agression level a bit. I think I need to loosen up a bit.

Fresh off the win, I decided to sit for my new employer’s Staff Invitational tournament Friday afternoon. There was no buy-in and no prize other than bragging rights. I splashed around for a bit before calling a limping field from the small blind with 95o. The flop came down 95x rainbow. I bet out, was raised, and went all-in. Some guy called me with AJ and I doubled up. A few hands later, my pair of aces got paid off. That chip stack and some unimaginative but solid play allowed me to survive until the final table where I managed to suck out on one of the chip leaders. I went for a blind steal from the small blind with KJ. The big blind called with JJ. I caught a king on the river to double up. Later, a guy tried to re-raise steal my TT raise with 94. I won. Long story short…I won the sonofabitch and took down my first staff tourney.

So…my live cash game, tourney game, and staff game life is running good…er…running well.

So, why am I sitting here on Pope Watch and typing.

Well, because I’m also…

Running Bad

I guess it started last weekend when I went to BadBlood’s for a cash game. I was right in the middle of my online winning streak and feeling like King Kong on cocaine (I stole that line from CSI because it is EXACTLY how I feel when I’m winning…I walk around with a virtual Faye Wray in my arms and climbing buildings while snorting coke off mirrors the size of automobiles).

The moment I sat down, I was distracted. My folks were in town and I’d left them to go play poker. One of my best friends was having a “I’m leaving town for six months” party and I’d decided to delay my arrival there so I could play poker. But Blood had thrown the game in honor of my return from Europe, and, frankly, I really, really wanted to play live.

I sucked. I chased. I folded. I sucked.

Yeah, I sucked.

Let’s speed this ugly part along. Tonight, I had a horrible online session. Then I went to The Mark for the first time in months and I sucked.

So, right now, I suck.

Notice, the suck part of this post wasn’t as long as the don’t-suck part. There’s two reasons for that. Number one, it’s late. Number two, I think I’m very bad at understanding how and when I suck.

You know what sucks?